puluhan buku ataupun ratusan yang pernah saya baca selama usia 22 ini ibarat mencurah ke daun keladi. lantas hanya tinggal teori yang tidak di aplikasi. ye, saya tahu tentang apa yang di cakapkan oleh Amin Idris tentang power of Influences, saya masih ingat buku tentang positif dalam hidup, tentang kepentingan merancang dan menuju matlamat dll...namun, saat ini, teori itu hanya tinggal teori.
betullah kata guru saya, 'knowledge is something with soul, if u didn't feel anything, that's just an information'
namun, pernah terbit dari suara hati saya satu persoalan
'adakah ini kesan daripada 'ujian sakit' yang menimpa saya sekarang?'
it does make sense.
the person with narcolepsy will be feel tired along the day as if they're working non-stop and don't sleep along the night. as the consequences, the brain would be so tired and thus affect the day's performance.
and yet me?
most of people that I've met has told me that i'm looking sick! sad! and all the negative mood!
am i thinking too much?
.... I've no answer for that. it really drives me crazy!
but, somehow... I know Allah is the perfect answer for all questions. He's the creator of everything and supposedly, only to Him I should serve and beg.
if one day i lost everything, i'll pray to Allah for not cry over it, instead, i'll cry for having nothing to spend more fi sabilillah .
jasad ini milikNya
kenapa aku harus bersedih bila Dia ingin meminta kembali?
fikiran ini milikNya,
aku harus menangis bila ia tidak memikirkan tentangNya
dan ku harap hati ini tetap mengingatiNya
Dia Maha Pengampun...
